Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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