We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize