Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize