Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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