a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
