I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
