Plan B is the new Plan A
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
