i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
