I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize