you suck at this game today
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..