Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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