we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
