I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
