went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What a dumb baby whore.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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