dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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