True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize