We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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