Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
