I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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