Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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