Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
