she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
