I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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