Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
