i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
