i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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