I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
