so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize