is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
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I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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