the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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