I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
