best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
