I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
