He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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