I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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