How's work?
Spinning.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
