Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
