people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I enjoy the company of your penis
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
