I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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