she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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