What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize