maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
