You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
