Apparently you make a good broom.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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