Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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