Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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