Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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