STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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