I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize