Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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