I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
