This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
