you guys were way drunker than both of me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
