dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
