She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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