My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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