Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
