i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
