i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
