I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
