He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
nutella sex= disaster
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
